I’m lost…Well…lately I’ve been feeling a little lost. I feel like I am actually waiting for something, but the truth is I’m not. I finished my class in 3D modelling in 2009, but I still haven’t got a job in that…why does it have to be so hard for artists? Why don’t they give a chance to juniors and why is it always contracts. Those people want lives and kids and families as much as other people. How could you afford a house if you don’t know if you’ll have a job in 6 months. Sadly I’m slowly letting go of it and got a little disinterested since I don’t see the point of crying over it. I wish I could be an artist, a writer…something…I’m not the kind of person who could work all her life at a deskjob, but this is what I’m doing right now, and if I want a family in like max 2 years, I don’t really have a choice to have something stable. I’m just sad life turned out that way I guess. You know when you’re 18 you think the world is going to be awesome and you’re going to do whatever you want and have fun doing it. Turns out you don’t…and those who do, certainly don’t have other parts of their life. I do think nobody is FULLY COMPLETELY happy with their life. But Hey, that’s what’s life about, we gotta get trough it. I’m just not sure where I want to go right now…and since I lost my confidence in my multiple artists skills (cuz nobody wanted to hire me as a junior for 3D modeling)…I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m slowly writing a book…but turns out all my ideas end up in libraries before I have time to finish it…I feel slow…too common. I guess I need something new…But what?

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” - Thomas A. Edison

http://tiny16.deviantart.com/

Am I that bad at everything??